How often we see in a family or among intimates one man a gentleman, courteous and deferent, while another is rough, boorish and indifferent to the likes or dislikes of everyone. Just here comes the real test of the noble man, the true gentleman. The real man of worth not only seeks to conform to the usages which society imposes, but he must have, as a foundation, an earnest regard for others, a tender chivalry, a consistent and untiring patience with even the foibles which he discovers in his intercourse with those by whom he is surrounded.
     This statement would be to some an argument to prove that nature stamps the difference between the two sorts of men, but even nature needs the aid of training and example, in order to bring to the surface those manifestations of good breeding which will place a man on a right footing with his associates.

     From the earliest days of the ancients down to the present time, manners have furnished the subject for many learned discourses by wits and philosophers, and a high estimate has ever been placed upon them. Even the savage, in his rude state, has his code of observances, and is offended at any violation of them.
     Aristotle held up the beauty of good manners to his pupils, and declared them to be among the principal virtues. There are few people who, if asked to say frankly which they preferred, a man whose demeanor was courteous, attentive and polite, but whose mental qualities were not remarkable to one of brilliant attainments, but of a rude, gruff manner, we think the unanimous verdict would be in favour of the polished man.
     We do not deny that birth and training have their share, and a large one, in the process of forming the manners, but even where these early advantages have been lacking it is possible for every boy and girl to cultivate the opportunities had, and develop into a real gentleman or lady.

     A definition of a real gentleman, borrowed from Ruskin, is proper here. He asserts that a gentleman should possess "that fineness of structure in the body which renders it capable of the most delicate sympathies." In other words, he must unite the strength of manhood, the courage and high sense of honour in all of his transactions, with the delicacy and refinement of a woman.
     Soloman, a high authority, describes a lady in the following glowing language:
     "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.
     "She will do him good and not evil, all the days of her life.
     "She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
     "Strength and honour are her clothing.
     "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
     A gentleman is chivalrous to the old, the feeble, to children, and to women.
     There comes a time in the life of every man when social duties claim his attention, and then he has often to refer to some book on etiquette for hints as to what is the correct or incorrect way to conduct under certain circumstances. The stately manners of early colonial days have no exemplars now. Our land, with its constantly changing conditions, and the introduction of new elements and new customs, demands a set of rules of etiquette of rather an elastic nature; but however much they change in minor particulars the most important qualifications remain unchanged.

     The first duty incumbent upon a man is, that he forgets self -- that in all his dealings with his fellow creatures, their wishes, their comfort govern him. This is the true test of the gentleman.
     He never poses with "company manners," and shows rudeness at home. He is not gentle and forbearing with strangers, and rough and unreasonable with the members of the home circle. The truly noble gentleman would no more show ill-breeding to his own family that he would to a lord of the realm. This is an infallible test of good breeding -- the conduct of a man at home and abroad. With a warm heart, care for humanity, the desire to do all he can to make people happy and show them how desirable and beautiful is good behaviour, no one dare dispute his claim to the name of a true gentleman. He is, when all these, fit to adorn that society which alone can be termed good society -- not because good manners prevail, but where virtue, united to these same manners, is the ruling influence.

     "The interesting person," says Lillian Whiting in The World Beautiful, "can never interrupt, no matter how busy you are; for he supplements and vivifies rather than breaks the thread of thought. He can never come too often nor stay too long. The quality of interest is due to no single gift, grace or acquirement that can be specified; it is rather a flavour, an essence, an atmosphere. It is as incapable of definition as is any form of enchantment.

     "The social lion may serve for a jest and witticism at pleasure; but the social star is a different affair. Society is as subtle in its attractions and repulsions as is a chemical compound. Elective affinities determine its composition. The entrance of a stranger into any special coterie where mutual intimacy prevails is at once productive of changes in one way or another, serving to separate or unite others into closer or into different relations. This fact indicates the responsibility inherent in all social intercourse. For people to suppose they must find their religion, in the sense of spirituality, at church, and their frivolity at a dinner or reception, is to take a narrow and an unworthy view of human life."