Sometimes parents, through natural anxiety to do their loved ones all possible honour, exceed their means and incur expenses which they can ill afford. And yet, who can censure them, when it be remembered that the great event marks the turning point in the life of the fair young daughter who soon leaves the old home to become the mistress of a new home--its guiding star.
     Therefore, it is not strange that parents and friends look forward eagerly to the joyous festive occasion. Were but a small portion of the kindly wishes uttered in behalf of the young couple realised, the marriage state would be perpetual sunshine.
     Should clouds, however, arise, and dark days come, with love at the helm, and an earnest mutual determination to do it right, and to live for each other, a newly married pair can smile at any fate.

     Before the wedding comes the betrothal. This is a halcyon period.

                        "He that feels
                         No love for woman, has no heart for them,
                         Nor friendship or affection!--he is foe
                         To all the finer feelings of the soul;
                         And to sweet Nature's holiest, tenderest ties,
                         A heartless renegade."

     There is no formal announcement of a betrothal in this country, except as the information finds its way in the society columns of the newspaper; but in other lands the festivities are very gay. It is in good taste here, however, for the father of the bride to give a dinner and announce the engagement before rising from the table. Congratulations are then in order.

     After the engagement has been communicated to the friends, those who are in the habit of entertaining may give receptions, dinners or theatre parties to the engaged couple if they so desire.

     It is the expected bride's prerogative to name the "happy day." Tastes are divided as to the most desireable months. May is shunned by those who are in the least superstitious, as it is deemed unlucky. The ancient Romans, who were dominated by omens and signs, regarded it as an unfortunate month, and Ovid said, "That time, too, was not auspicious for the marriage torches of the widow or the virgin. She who married then, did not long remain a wife." Just after Easter seems a favourite season for weddings, and the fall months are also much liked.

     Immediately preceding the sending out of invitations for the marriage, the bride that is to be, leaves her card at the homes of her friends in person, but does not make a call, unless she makes an exception in favour of an aged or sick person.
     After this formality has been attended to, and the invitations have been distributed, the young lady should not appear in public.

     If the ceremony is to take place in church, to be followed by a reception, invitations are sent ten days in advance. Church weddings can be made very pretty, and are quite in consonance with the solemnity of the occasion. It is an ecclesiastical affair, and should be performed in the sanctuary. It is quite fashionable to be wedded in church, and return to the house to don the travelling costume and leave for a matrimonial trip.

     The most commonly accepted form of invitation is worded thus:

     This invitation includes only the ceremony at the church. Those friends whose presence is desired at the reception receive a card of this nature, inclosed with the invitation:

     A card still more simple is preferred; as--

     An admission card to a church strikes one rather disagreeably, and yet where both parties have an extensive acquaintance, they are necessary to prevent over-crowding, and are worded thus:

     Invitations should be printed or engraved upon note paper of excellent quality, and the envelope must fit the inclosed invitation closely.

     Many very fashionable people who dislike the excitement and display of a public wedding, are married in their travelling costumes, with no one but the family and a very few near friends present. All expenses are paid by the bride, save the license and clergyman's fee. A quiet wedding is always the rule, after a recent death in the family, or some other affliction.

     Brides-maids are taken from the relatives or most intimate friends--the sisters of the bride and of the bridegroom where possible. The bridegroom chooses his groomsmen and ushers from his circle of relatives and friends of his own age, and from the relatives of his fiancée of a suitable age. The brides-maids should be a little younger than the bride. These should be from two to six in number, and they should exercise taste in dress, looking as pretty as possible, being careful, however, not to outshine the bride. White is the accepted dress for brides-maids, but they are not limited to this. They can select light and delicate colours, showing care that everything harmonises. Pink, blue, sea-green, ecru, or lavender, makes a very pretty contrast to the bride, who should invariably be clothed in white.
     The addition of some pretty children under ten, who follow the brides-maids in the procession to the altar, and who are called flower-girls, is a beautiful innovation.

     A brides-maid must never disappoint the bride by failing to keep her engagement. Only severe sickness or death will excuse her. It is quite customary for the bride to bestow some present on each brides-maid, while the groom remembers each groomsman in a similar manner.
     It is also a pretty custom for the bride to give a dinner to the brides-maids the evening previous to the wedding.

     The wedding-ring is used in the marriage service of nearly all denominations. It is always a plain gold band, no longer heavy and solid, but a rather narrow circlet.
     The use of the wedding-ring is a very ancient custom. It is probable that it was used by the Swiss Lake dwellers, and other primitive people. In very early times it was common among the Hebrews, who possibly borrowed it from the Egyptians, among whom, as well as the Greeks and Romans, the wedding-ring was worn. An English book on etiquette, published in 1732, says, the bride may choose on which finger the ring shall be placed, and it says some brides prefer the thumb, others the index finger, others the middle finger, "because it is the largest," and others the fourth finger, because "a vein proceeds from it to the heart."
     The engagement ring is removed at the altar by the bridegroom, who passes the wedding-ring (a plain gold band,with the date and the initials engraved inside) to the clergyman, to be used by him in the ceremony. On the way home from church, or as soon thereafter as convenient, the bridegroom may put the engagement ring back on the bride's finger, to stand over its precious fellow. Some husbands who like to observe these pretty little fancies, present their wives of a year's standing with another ring, either chased or plain, to be worn on the wedding-ring finger, and which is called the "keeper." This, too, is supposed to "stand guard" over the wedding ring.

     The groomsmen at a wedding, of whom there are generally four or more, have a multitude of duties to perform. One of them is chosen master of ceremonies, and his office is to be early at church, and having a list of the invited guests, he must allot a space for their accommodation by stretching a cord or ribbon (sometimes a circle of natural flowers) across the aisles for a boundary line. He sees that the organist has the musical program at hand; that the hassocks on which the bride and groom kneel are in their proper position, and covered with a spotless white cloth. He escorts ladies to their seats, and asks, if necessary, the names of those who are unknown to him, that he may, by consulting his list, place the relatives and nearest friends of the bride by the altar.

     Two of the groomsmen, as soon as the pair are made one, hasten to the house at which the reception is to be held, to receive the newly wedded pair and their guests.

     Another duty of the ushers at the house is to conduct the guests to the bride and groom, and present those who may not have been acquainted. They introduce the guests to the parents. It frequently happens that members of the two families, living at a distance, have never met; so it becomes necessary to introduce them. In all such cases the gentleman who is the escort of a lady follows her with the usher, and is in turn introduced.
     The usher attends to every lady who has no escort, and sees at supper that she is properly served.

     The dress of the ushers must consist of the regulation full evening toilet--white neckties, and delicately tinted gloves. They may also wear a handsome button-hole bouquet.

     In proceeding to the altar, the flower-girls walk first. Then the brides-maids follow, each leaning on the arm of a groomsman, while the mother of the bride comes next, on the arm of the groom. The bride enters leaning on her father's arm, or the next male relative who is much her senior in years. They pass to the altar, the brides-maids turning to the left, the groomsmen to the right. The groom places the mother just behind the brides-maids, or seats her at a front pew at the left. The father remains standing where he can give away the bride, who stands at the left of the groom.
     In some cases the groom prefers not to walk down the aisle with the bridal party, but comes in at the study door and meets the bride at the altar. In either case he walks out with her.

     Soon as the couple have been pronounced one, the head brides-maid puts aside the veil from the face of the bride and they proceed down the aisle, the bridal pair walking first. The brides-maids and groomsmen follow next, the father and mother being last.

     If a bride is married in her travelling dress, she wears a hat or bonnet. The groom is dressed in dark clothes, They do not require brides-maids or groomsmen, but have ushers, while the groom has his "best man," whose place it is to attend to necessary details.

     The guests should not rush out of church for the purpose of collecting on the sidewalk to get a look at the bride. They should remain quietly in the church until the wedding procession has passed out.

     At the reception following, half of the brides-maids stand on the left of the bride and half on the left of the groom. Kissing the bride is fast going out of fashion in the best circles. It is a dreadful ordeal for a young and timid bride, and should be laid on the shelf with many other ridiculous customs.

     The dress of the bride should be devised according to her means or taste. A veil may or may not be worn; one composed of tulle is more dainty in its effect than a lace one. But for a very fleshy bride lace will be best, as tulle has the quality of making one's proportions look larger. The orange blossom has always been adopted for ornamentation, and is very beautiful. But if these cannot be procured, other natural flowers can take their place. If jewellery is worn, it should be something very elegant and chaste.

     The reception should be about two hours' duration. When the time of departure on the wedding journey draws near, the young couple quietly withdraw from the festivities without making any adieus. None but the most intimate friends remain to wish them bon voyage.

     The showing of the wedding gifts is left to the taste of the bride. She need no longer exhibit them on the day of the wedding, ticketed and labeled with the names of their givers, like dry goods in a shop window unless she so chooses. There are so many beautiful articles which can be fittingly sent as wedding gifts, that it is almost impossible to particularise. Among them are pictures, china, bric-a-brac, vases, clocks, statuary ornaments, jewellery, books, and even pieces of furniture. Formerly it was only thought proper to give silverware and jewellery, but common sense has come to the front in these days, and ostentatious display no longer prevails in good society.
     The neatest way to give a wedding present, is to have it packed at the shop where it is purchased and sent directly to the bride with the giver's card. She should immediately after the wedding acknowledge the same by a personal note in her own handwriting. No friend should hesitate to give some little token if they so choose because they cannot give an expensive present. It is often these little gifts prove more desirable than those representing money value.

     When a widow remarries, her wedding costume should be of some light-coloured silk if married at home, and she should omit the veil. Neither should she have brides-maids, but should be attended by her father, brother, or an elderly male relative. If the ceremony takes place in church, she should be dressed in a coloured silk or cloth, and wear a bonnet. She should remove her first wedding-ring, out of deference to the feelings of the groom.
     The refreshments at a wedding reception consist of salads, oysters, cold chicken, ices, coffee and confectionery. These may be served from a center table in the dining-room, the guests being seated against the wall and the refreshments passed.
     Parents and friends who are in mourning should leave off their somber garments at the wedding. Of course they may be resumed after the bride's departure.

     The wedding tour is no longer considered absolutely necessary. Many young couples who are going at once to house-keeping, do not take a trip, but proceed direct from the church to their future home, where the reception is held. In this case, the duties of the head usher are the same as at the reception, save that he is assisted in taking charge of the guests by the mother of the bride.

     If a tour is made, avoid any silly manifestations of affection in public. Observe a respectful reserve toward each other; thus you will not expose yourself to ridicule by demonstrations of affection which should be kept for the sacred privacy of home.

     A bride may after her marriage drop her middle name, and adopt her maiden name in its place, as--Mrs. Nellie Winn Seymour, instead of Mrs. Nellie Maria Seymour. We think this is a good fashion, as it helps to a knowledge of the family to which the bride belonged, ere her marriage, and saves confusion. Widows often retain the names of their first husbands, as Mrs. Belle Hopkins Gill.

     Wedding-cake is not sent out as formerly. In lieu of that it is piled up in tasty little boxes on a side table at the reception, and each guest takes just one box.

     Most bridegrooms would, from the fullness of their hearts, pay for everything connected with the coming event, but this would offend the delicacy of the bride and her friends. There is a law of etiquette concerning this, as all other matters. We therefore append a brief summing up of what he may pay for without trespassing upon those customs which have been observed from earliest times, and which fall within the province of the parents of the bride.
     He should not fail to send the wedding bouquet to the bride, on the morning of the ceremony. He also should, if his means permit, present the bride with come article of jewellery.
     He should pay the clergyman's fee (this is handed to the clergyman by the best man after the ceremony), consisting of any amount which the groom thinks proper; but never less than $5.00, while $20.00 is even modest. Bouquets to the brides-maids; scarf-pins, canes, sleeve buttons, or any other little remembrance which his ingenuity may suggest, to the groomsmen.

     "The groom should on no account pay for the cards, the carriages, nor the entertainment, nor anything connected with the wedding.
     "The reason for this is, that an engagement may be broken even after the cards are out, and it would then remain for the parents of the bride to either repay the outlay, or stand in the position of being indebted to the discarded son-in-law.
     "In addition to other details, the parents of the bride should pay for the cards sent out after marriage. These are generally ordered with the announcement cards."

     Fashions in wedding-cards are constantly changing. Any good stationer is provided with the newest and most approved styles. The fantastically ornamented cards of a few years ago are happily supplanted by plainer and less showy ones. They should be of a fine quality, yet of heavy board, and engraved in script.

     If you do not receive a wedding-card, do not call upon a newly married couple. There is a sort of tacit understanding that only those receive them whose acquaintance they wish to retain.

     Home weddings are much simpler than church weddings, and can be made very beautiful. An arch of flowers may be placed in the parlour, under which the young couple stand, with the clergyman before them. The bridal party enters, as in church, and after having been pronounced man and wife, they turn and face their guests, receiving their congratulations.
     The recipients of invitations at the church ceremony, call or leave cards within a month after the wedding, while those invited to the reception call within ten days after the wedding upon the parents.

     If the wedding is strictly private the bride's parents usually send the following card during the absence of the pair upon their bridal tour:

     All who receive such cards should send notes of congratulation to the parents, and also to the bride and groom, when intimate friendship warrants it.

     The newly married pair receive in their new home on their return. It is now a pretty custom to have the announcements of such a reception days with the wedding-cards, and merely state the fact thus:

     If these receptions are to be held in the evening this should be stated also, as--

     It is very common for the bride's parents to give the young couple a reception upon their return; this is followed by one given them by the parents of the groom. At these receptions, the bride wears dark silk, as rich and elegant as her means permit, but without bridal ornaments. If she wishes, she can wear her wedding-dress at parties or formal dinners, but the veil and flowers are worn no more.

     The bride's outfit should be selected with special reference to the position in life she expects to hold, and the income of the future husband. Rich and extravagant dressing is in bad taste under any circumstances, Neither should she purchase an immense stock of clothes, to lay and grow yellow. It looks as though she never expected the man she marries to give her a cent. If she has an enormous sum furnished her by her father, she may lay part of it by, to replenish with as she needs it. Buy only enough for a journey and a year's wear.

     All plate or other gifts which are to be marked should bear the initials of the bride, or her monogram. This is her own personal property, and she may bequeath it at her death to whomever she chooses.

     Don't haunt the house of your loved one for a few days previous to the wedding. There are many matters to be attended to, requiring her counselling with her elders, and long interviews tire and annoy her. Besides, a loving daughter naturally desires to be with her mother for the few days left her. She is none the less loyal to you for this affection for her mother, and you will be none the loser for your forbearance.

     The young husband in meeting the wife's acquaintances or the newly wedded wife in meeting the husband's acquaintances should break all formality and reserve and cultivate a cordiality, even though they may not feel it in particular cases. To master the shortcomings of our natures is not deception, and while it may at first appear like it, yet in the end we find that the effort leads us to like rather than dislike the person to whom we have felt a prejudice.

     Wherever we go, whether among the husband's friends or elsewhere, we should endeavor to carry entertainment with us. A cordial manner invariably pleases better than brilliancy even. Emerson says that "fashion is good sense entertaining company; it hates corners and sharp points of character, hates quarrelsome, egotistical, solitary, and gloomy people, hates whatever can interfere with total blending of parties, while it values all particularities as in the highest degree refreshing which can consist with good-fellowship." While fine manner is often a gift of nature, yet it can also be cultivated. How beautiful to see a person enter a room and make himself charming to everyone in it. Is it any wonder that such a person falls like magic into the arms and hearts of the new made relatives?